Category Archives: Personal Growth

Success is the Best Revenge

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Jealousy, anger, resentment; these are all feelings that are sometimes hard to suppress. If we let them, they will take over our lives and darken our spirit. Rather than succumbing to these negative powers, why not use them to your advantage and retaliate in a positive way?

Get angry and get going! Harness all those undesirable emotions. Sit quietly and review the reasons behind these pent-up feelings; writing them down helps to clarify them. Now, close your eyes and see yourself packaging them all up into a new burst of energy.

Let this force guide you and motivate you with a new vitality you never knew you had. See yourself smiling as you envision the person or thing that annoyed you into action and thank them. Without that irritating nudge, you may not have changed the course of your life or made a decision that has benefited you, long after the resentment has faded.

Laptop-less, Yet Dressed for Success; an Exercise in Positive Thinking

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What’s next? I was daydreaming with the TV on. What would my next career be? Just then, I noticed a segment about a woman who had moved to Europe and started her own business. There she was, working on her laptop, outside in the town plaza and it hit me; that’s what I want to do!

I want to work on my own, just me and my laptop; no store front and no employees. I want to set my own hours and be able to work from anywhere. But, how? When? Where? I had no laptop and no vision of what I would do, but I decided that I would not let doubt creep in and ruin my excitement.

Now that I had something to focus on, I could start practicing positive thinking. I made up a mantra that I said every morning when I woke up. Every night, just before I fell asleep, I envisioned myself working outside on my laptop every day, successful and happy, noting every detail as if I were in a movie. I had set the stage and would let my subconscious take care of the rest.

One day, while flipping through the newspaper, I noticed they were advertising a blog class for beginners. That was it! I signed up for the class right away and got the last spot. Only one slight problem: it said to bring a laptop and I didn’t have one. I borrowed one for the evening, but what about going forward? The laptop was an integral part of my plan. It represented the freedom to move about. No time to be pessimistic now, I just kept practicing my positive thinking.

The class inspired me and gave me the fundamentals that I needed. I started making notes and getting excited. Even though I was not looking for any investors, I decided to take the time to write a business plan in order to map out my strategy (after all, ultimately this was to be a money-making proposition). I had never written one before, so I gathered a couple of “how to” articles and went to work. The exercise was invigorating. The fact that I still did not have a laptop and did not really want to spend the money for one right now did not deter me. I just kept on with my positive thinking.

Then, one day out of the blue, Mr. Wiz* came home from work and excitedly told me about a new sales contest that his employer had announced. Each salesperson would receive a percentage of their sales for the next two months that could be used at an upcoming auction. To further spur them on, salespeople were asked to turn in a list of items that they and their families wanted, for inclusion in the auction.

We researched laptops and Mr. Wiz turned in the information. I was counting the days until the auction. What Mr. Wiz had not told me until the evening of the event was that he had the highest sales for the time period. When I left the event that evening, new laptop under my arm, I felt as if I were in a dream. Then I realized that I was; a dream of my own making.

Since then, we retired early and moved to Austin, Texas. It took a while to get settled, but now here I am, sitting on my patio every morning, typing on my laptop and writing for my new blog. What’s next?

 

*Who’s who? See “Cast of Characters” on the “About” page.

 

 

 

 

How to Huff and Puff and Blow Your Stress Away

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Contrary to popular opinion, the big bad wolf was a soft-spoken yoga enthusiast with laser sharp focus. Unfortunately, for the three little pigs, his focus was on them. Nevertheless, there is something to all that huffing and puffing. Breathing in until your nostrils stick together, then blowing the air out with all the force you can muster not only gives you a powerful feeling, it may also knock down a house made of sticks. Breathing is the essence of yoga and is believed to control your body, mind and emotions.

The American Institute of Stress suggests that instead of zoning out in front of the TV, the best way to combat the damaging effects of stress is to practice breathing deeply. It elevates your heart rate, forces your lungs to take in more oxygen and helps you to expel more carbon dioxide. In some cases, deep breathing exercises are able to be substituted for conventional medical treatment of stress-related disorders. Giving your heart a good workout cannot only change how you feel, but how you look. Keeping stress at bay can make you look and feel years younger.

Why not give it a try; what have you got to lose? The next time you have too much on your mind, something keeps nagging at you, you don’t get enough sleep or you can’t seem to focus- try huffing and puffing. You will feel an instant release. Plan to work it into your daily schedule for a few minutes a day with a goal of 15 minutes. No time? Try multi tasking; I like to do it while I am exercising.

Deep breathing is effective for any age, it’s free and you can practice it anywhere. Since the way you breathe affects your whole body, it’s a formidable way to change your life. Who knows? Had the three little pigs taken the time to clear away their mental cobwebs and de-stress, would they have been back in the real estate market researching mortgage options?

 

Three Strikes: A Good Measure of Tolerance

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There is a three strikes law for repeat offenders. A baseball batter receives three strikes during his time at bat, which then leads to an “out.” I didn’t make up the rules, I’ve just adopted them for my own use.

When you are trying to make a decision as to how to handle a situation, don’t agonize over it. Use the three strikes rule. Rather than accepting the same outcome over and over again, this provides you with a measure to use as a guide. Feel free to share your credo or keep it to yourself, whichever seems appropriate:

  • If your child is doing something unacceptable, explain what they are doing and what they need to do to rectify the situation. Tell them they have one strike against them and that three for the same issue will result in some type of penalty. This gives them a chance to work on wiping the slate clean and lets them know where they stand.
  • If your partner is doing something that is getting on your nerves.
  • If a friend keeps standing you up at the last minute when you make plans together.
  • If you experience long waits in the waiting room of any professionals that you make an appointment with.
  • If recent conversations with your boss or co-worker are confusing to you as to your relationship and where you stand with them.

Using this philosophy to determine how long you intend to accept a situation will help you to finalize issues; no repeat offenders, no lingering at bat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons From Within

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You are never alone. Inside you is your special, individual self that craves your attention. Try taking the time to cultivate that relationship. Take 10 minutes a day and turn yourself “inside out”:

  1. What makes you tick? Find a quiet spot and think about who you are, where you are in your life, your goals and your dreams.
  2. Who are you? Look in the mirror and really see yourself.
  3. Entertain yourself. Plan little treats to look forward to.
  4. Negotiate with yourself. Plan your day so that you accomplish your goals with a bit of fun mixed in.
  5. When you are alone, talk to yourself out loud; tell yourself “You are looking good!” or “It’s going to be a great day!.”
  6. Like yourself. Try not to put yourself down. Think about what makes you special, what makes you, you.

Being comfortable spending time alone, does not make you a loner. It enhances your vision of who and what you are and helps you to reconnect with yourself. If we can learn to enjoy our own company, we are free to be more independent.

How are some women able to make the decision to start their own business, move to a foreign country or become a single mom? They have the power of that special relationship, the one that will never let them down. They have learned how to be their own best friend. Looking deep inside and getting to know ourselves will strengthen our life lines to everything we connect with.