Oct. 27 – 29: Barbadelo to Palas de Rei

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Oct. 27: Barbadelo – 16 miles
Today, with no mist, we can appreciate the beautiful forest. The ups and downs go on forever, as do the amazing vistas. The water crossings – never my favorite – take all my concentration. I stop halfway through, realizing the next rock is more rounded than the others and I’ll have to balance myself before making my way to the next one. There’s nothing to do but move forward. I finish the day’s walk with even more of a spring in my step, proud of myself for overcoming the challenging day. 

We’re surprised to come upon an English couple who are artists and have built their studio and home on the Camino. We were impressed to see a poster advertising a show they had at Windsor Castle, and we stopped to chat a bit. 

Some words to ponder while we relax

Out of nowhere, we see an area with a sitting area and food offered for a donation. This resting place looks to be larger and more organized than the similar stops we’ve come across before. It even has an area for sound therapy, meditation, and a labyrinth. We are greeted warmly by a young woman from California, who takes our order for café con leches. She tells us she happened to stop here on a rainy day. She said something told her to stay and she’s been here for a couple of days volunteering. 

Casa Barbadelo’s
rustic feel was very welcoming

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We first came across the cabins at Casa Barbadelo in 2016. We were sorry we didn’t stay back then and decided to reserve it this time. Set up more like a motel, with outside access to the rooms, they are rustic but quite nice. We are staying right next door to the Norwegian couple we keep crossing paths with and we finally get the chance to have dinner together. 

He is a tall man, with blond wavy hair down to his shoulders that any woman would kill for. She is blond and petite. They live near the Arctic border and have a house in Spain that they will head to after the Camino. An Australian pilgrim joins us and tells us about his adventures on the Kumano Kodo, the Japanese Camino, and hiking in Nepal. 

We invite a woman from Nevada, who’s about to dine alone, to also join us. She tells us she likes to hike all over the U.S. by herself. Her car is always packed and ready to go, in case the spirit moves her. It takes most pilgrims about a month to walk the French route, but she nonchalantly mentions she’s a slow walker and it’s already taken her two months to get to this point. 

We enjoyed the lively conversation while soft music plays in the background. We are excited to see that rice is offered on this menu. This is different from the French fries served at each meal! The entrée, a thin, delicious steak with a mushroom sauce, rounds out a perfect evening! 

Oct. 28: Portomarin – 15 miles

We could have sat here all afternoon!


It’s a beautiful day and the woodland path is gravel, a nice change of pace for our feet. We walked along forest paths and tree-lined lanes until we came to a beautiful spot. With a lovely outdoor patio, soft music playing, and outstanding views, it seemed this contemporary restaurant, Mercadoiro, was waiting for us to stop there for lunch. It’s no surprise that we vote their Caldo Gallego the best we’ve enjoyed on the Camino, to date. 

Happy and content, we continue onward. Up ahead, we see pilgrims all lined up in single file and now, we remember why. One by one, each person heads down a rocky gorge that sits deep into the earth. When it’s my turn, I take a moment to consider if I should shimmy down on my posterior or walk down on foot. It’s so steep, my hiking poles will be of no help. I stand there for what seems like minutes, wishing no one was behind me and wondering what would happen if just one person behind us lost their footing. Would they knock us all down like bowling pins?

A moment later, a young Spanish man turns around to face me. He smiles, holds out his hands, and walks me down and out of the gorge. I can’t thank him enough. I tell him he is “muy fuerte” (very strong) and hug him and his wife goodbye. 

And if this wasn’t enough for one day, we next crossed a long bridge. What made it so uncomfortable was that the barriers are unusually low on both the river and traffic side. We put our heads down and walk as fast as we can before vertigo has a chance to set in.

The last leg of today’s journey

 

 

 

 

 

We’re almost in town, except for the steep staircase that now stands before us. At this point, all we can do is laugh and head upward, taking turns announcing out loud what we might eat and drink tonight after a hot shower. 

A lovely spot at Vista Alegre

Is that the Vista Alegre Hotel or is it a mirage? The white structure has an almost Moroccan feel, with its welcoming carved wooden door and arched stone entrance. Our lovely contemporary all-white room is crisp and bright. We are sorry we don’t have the time to relax on our floor’s outdoor sitting area or visit the spa. 

We step out of our room and just at the same moment, our Australian friend is exiting the room right next to us. After a good laugh, she tells us she’s headed to join her husband. He says he’s found a lovely spot for a drink, and she invites us along. We all sit at a table by the river and chat. After a walk around town and a nice meal, we’ve forgotten all it took to get here today. 

Oct. 29: Palas de Rei – 17 miles

Sometimes walking alone can be so therapeutic


The weather is cool today, with just enough sun to warm us. We walk in and out of forests and fields, but soon realize those long, low inclines fool us and seem to go on forever. We come upon another rocky gorge. It’s smaller and, this time, we’re the only ones walking down it, so we can take our time and maneuver more comfortably. Feeling great after another delicious Caldo Gallego lunch stop, we realize we are only halfway to our destination. 

We immediately liked our room at Pensión Pardellas, with its stone wall, balcony, and artistic black-and-white area photos on the walls. The shower is great too, an added plus. 

Mr. Wiz reminds me that in 2018 we had a drink at Castro, so we decided to treat ourselves to dinner at this lovely restaurant. On the way, we pass our Norwegian and Australian friends on the street. Both have decided they’re exhausted and plan to shop for food and eat in their rooms. 

We happened to sit next to an Australian couple celebrating the husband’s birthday. After some Camino chatter, he mentioned he had lived and worked in Ferrol. We’ve considered stopping there, are delighted to receive some inside information, and thank them as they leave. 

It seems hunger has won out over exhaustion and our Australian friends are seated at the only available table, which happens to be right next to us! We toast to Camino coincidences, and I’m convinced we would be friends if we didn’t live a continent away from each other. 

Oct. 23 – 26: Cacabelos to Triacastela

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Mr. Wiz  walking non-stop!

Oct. 23: Cacabelos – 18 miles

That Mr. Wiz is a powerhouse! I tease him and call him “the camel” because I must remind him to stop for water and to eat! He puts his head down and those long legs just don’t stop going up and down the hills!

I’m having trouble recalling what I had to eat on the menu del dia two days ago and he remembers every detail of every town we visited in 2016 and 2018: where we ate, stayed, and stopped for a drink- incredible!

Downtown Cacabelos

There’s a lot of road walking today; not my favorite, but at least there’s a barrier between us and the cars and trucks that all seem to be going 100 mph! It always makes us smile when a car or truck sees us and blows their horn.

Today’s highlight is a stop at the “Castillo de los Templarios” (Templar Castle).

The stately Templar Castle

Who were the Knights Templar?
The Knights Templar were a Catholic military order. Founded in 1119, they protected pilgrims on their journeys. In the 12th century, they took possession of the fortress to use as a castle.

When they started to receive too much recognition and wealth, King Phillip forced the Pope to dissolve the order. The knights were arrested and tortured and their assets were stolen. Today, the magnificent castle remains as a study center and a library.

Cruz de Farro is located at the highest point of the French route

Cruz de Farro is a welcome sight. The simple iron cross on the hill has become a symbol of the Camino. The tradition is to bring a stone from home and leave it by the cross. It can symbolize leaving your troubles behind or commemorating someone important to you. Seeing the number of pilgrims kneeling, weeping or sitting quietly, along with the hundreds of rocks, notes, and photos on the ground is truly humbling and very emotional.

We voted these the ugliest trees in Spain

Our room at Hostal Santa Maria is so small that it takes some creativity to plan where to place anything. The town is not an attractive one, but the weather is so lovely that everyone is happy to be outside.

We stop and chat with a cheerful group of pilgrims. One Australian gentleman has such a kind way about him that I find myself immediately drawn to him. Later, I was told he is a priest and began walking in Switzerland 82 days ago. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to ask him why he was taking this journey and if he was finding what he was searching for.

Oct. 24: Trabadelo – 12 miles

A peaceful morning view

The early morning mist makes it feel much colder than it is. We head right to a narrow, rocky path and the single-file order precludes conversation.

I am very excited to be heading to Casa Susi!

Something to think about as we enter Casa Susi

Once upon a time, there was a tenacious, young woman from Australia named Susi. With an independent, adventurous spirit, she backpacked the world until she found the Camino (or until the Camino found her). Drawn to its sense of community and spirituality, she began work as a “hospitelero” (volunteer) at Albergues and began to dream about the one she would someday create.

The shell of the old barn on the Camino path in Trabadelo spoke to her. The fact that it had no water or electricity didn’t stop her. She worked tirelessly to prepare it for the upcoming season. As pilgrims came, some sensed her radiant spirit and stayed a day or two to help her finish one of her many projects. In turn, she offered them a bed and a wonderful meal, with vegetables from her, now abundant, garden which overlooked the river.

He was her 30th guest. A handsome architect from Pamplona, Fermin was soft-spoken with a warm smile. He was immediately captivated by this cheery, petite, powerhouse of a woman with the long blonde braid coquettishly tied to one side. Fermin likes to say that one project led to another, and he never left. Last summer, they were married in the Casa Susi garden and then again in Australia.

Everything  is well planned and organized at Casa Susi

Fermin welcomed us warmly. We were instructed to leave our boots and poles in the outer room. He offered us some herbal tea as we sat around the large wooden table and received information about our stay.

Luckily, no one snored!

A quiet spot in the garden

A door opened to a room with 10 beds and two bathrooms with showers. We were given paper-like sheets to use on the mattress and pillow and planned to sleep inside the sleeping bag liners – or sleep sacks – we had packed. A communal dinner would be served at 7:30 p.m. and we would meet Susi then. Dinner was prepared in the kitchen in their private living quarters upstairs. The cost of the bed and meal was only 27e each! Breakfast was self-service for an extra fee. In the meantime, we were free to relax inside or in the garden.

As it neared dinner time, the hungry pilgrims from California, Canada, Pittsburg, Korea, and Australia were excited to dine and finally meet Susi. As the wine was poured, Susi and Fermin welcomed us, told us a little about themselves, and then asked us to introduce ourselves and share why we were on the Camino.

Pilgrims always have interesting stories, but the one that touched us all was the 22-year-old young woman who tearfully confided she had just graduated from an intensely difficult college program and was confused as to why she had even chosen that course of study. She had already been walking 66 days from France and was exhausted mentally and physically.

After some hugs, Fermin and Susi served the first course: homemade pasta with pesto made with wild garlic Susi had foraged in the hills. Next, came a lovely salad along with peppers stuffed with vegetables, garbanzos, Moroccan spices, and a spiced yogurt topping. Dessert was a homemade lemon custard topped with plums.

I make a toast to the five, strong woman, at the table that are doing the Camino solo, and the meal ended with a round of applause for Susi, Fermin, their garden, and the wonderful gourmet dinner.

As I lay in my bed, I wondered what it would be like to host dinner for 12 every night; the planning, preparing, making conversation, cleaning up, and then doing it all again and again! When Susi and Fermin said they would close November 1, I assumed that meant a long vacation. Their plan was a weeklong trip to Malaga and then to Australia to work, with Susi as a florist and Fermin in construction. I fell asleep with a newfound respect for all the Albergue owners who dedicated their lives to caring for the pilgrims.

Oct. 25: O Cebreiro – 15 miles

It’s always an easy start when you walk through towns. Just when we’re grateful for no rain, it starts raining lightly, which it will do on and off all day today. This is the province of Galicia and O Cebreiro is known to be cold and damp, It’s still one of my favorite towns. With its charming stone village, scenic hiking trails, and good food and wine, many Spaniards agree with me and enjoy heading here for the weekend.

The lovely Valcarce Valley

We’re in for one of the steepest climbs today, navigating mud, wet leaves, and chestnuts, but the views of the Valcarce Valley will make it all worthwhile. The woods are quiet and beautiful. Sometimes the branches meet in the middle and create arches for us to walk through.

With just a touch of the mist hanging in the air, it gives the views a mystical feel. We are grateful for the quiet when, suddenly, we hear talking and laughing, as a group of what seems like hundreds of high school students take over the path. They walk along with us (actually, much faster!) until they head to buses to return down.

The Iglesia de Santa Maria Real dates back to the ninth century. It is the oldest
church associated with pilgrims and is also the resting place of Fr. Don Elias Valiña  Sampedro, who was responsible for helping to restore the Camino and whose idea it was to mark the route with yellow arrows (Camino shells are also used today).

Once again, our hotel La Venta Celta is small and plain, but it’s warm and we’re happy to arrive…that is, until we notice the shower is missing a door! With a smile, the lovely young woman explains that a large guest fell into it yesterday and they don’t have another room available. Rather than get upset, we ask for some extra towels for the floor and make it work. We see so many pilgrims we know at dinner, we decide to sit in the middle of the room, so we can chat with them all.

Oct. 26: Triacastela – 15 miles

Cold, but happy!

It’s raw out this morning! I open the door to check the weather and notice several pilgrims heading out in the dark with headlamps on. We prefer to have breakfast and wait for daylight.

Cows have the right of way in Spain

The rollercoaster hills are gravel today, which makes them a bit easier, but, not by much. I’m always surprised when we walk right through someone’s farm. Today, the señora seems nonplussed as she walks through the groups of pilgrims and gets her cows in line to head for the field. Meanwhile, we hustle to get ahead of them before they take over the road.

The chestnut tree is so ugly that it’s beautiful

We stop for a bowl of delicious lentil soup for lunch and everyone we know seems to have the same idea. Today is a long day, but for a few minutes, we are entertained by the 800-year-old chestnut tree that we pass. Gnarled and ashen gray, it has an artistic look about it. Every November, a festival is held in Galicia, where chestnuts are collected and celebrated. The fruit of the chestnut is enjoyed by both people and cattle.

Pension Albergue Lemos is a nice surprise. It’s the first stop in town, the room is modern with plenty of room and a hot shower. As a bonus, there is a washer and dryer available to use. With a big smile, the woman at reception surprises us by insisting she will do our laundry for us.

Oct. 19 – 22: Villar de Mazarife to Molinaseca

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Welcome to Viilar de Mazarife!

Oct. 19: Villar de Mazarife – 14 miles 

It’s a cold start to the day, but the consensus is, it’s better than hot and sunny. We walk through an industrial district, scrubland and surprise- lots of ups and downs!

In the distance, we hear a lilting Irish voice. We’ve greeted this jolly soul daily, but today he catches up to us and joins us for some café con leche/té to warm up. Never married and living with his mother, he decided to sell his dairy farm, retire at 58, and see the world.

On his first Camino, he met a family traveling with their daughter via wheelchair. The daughter told him she had Multiple Sclerosis (MS), the brilliant mind of a 28-year-old, a great career, but the body of a 98-year old. When she added she was not going to let that stop her from her goals and dreams, he immediately joined her support team. He was proud that his practical farm sense came in handy, when he suggested they put a hot water bottle on her lap to keep her warm.

Our Irish friend snapped this photo of us

He spoke of the kindness of other pilgrims, taking turns pushing the wheelchair and sometimes even carrying it. He reluctantly said goodbye and headed home. Weeks later, he received a text, asking him if he’d like to meet them in Sarria and finish out the Camino. Two days later, he was on a plane back to Spain (you can do that when you live in Ireland) He said that experience changed his life and now, he can’t get enough of the Camino.

Bucolic setting on the way, but could not seem to translate the sign!

The Tio Pepe Hostal looks just like we left it in 2016. Once again, we have a first-floor room. It’s plain and clean, the shower’s great, but there’s no closet!  And, once again, Mr. Wiz takes a walk to check out the town and returns in five minutes; still not too many sights!

It’s cool and damp, so rather than sitting in the garden patio, pilgrims are all huddled around the bar getting to know each other. A pilgrim from Wyoming shares his free form style of never making any plans and going where the wind takes him.

Between travel cost and time (a 20 hour flight to Europe), an Australian couple tells us of how they planned to get their monies worth by first sailing the Greek Islands (his dream) and now are on the Camino (her choice). At dinner, we find out we have much in common: our sons are the same age, have the same name, are the same size (big!) and both played rugby.

The señora at Tio Pepe makes us a sandwich for lunch and insists it’s “gratis” (free). There are no condiments on a Spanish sandwich; just crusty bread, cheese and jamón.

Jamön shopping!

What is jamón?
Jamón is a salt cured meat, made from the hind leg of a pig and is similar to prosciutto, but tastier. On holidays, Spanish families have their jamón proudly displayed in a special stand that clamps the ham in place and makes it accessible and easy to carve. The most expensive jamón comes from a special breed of black pigs who are only fed acorns and can cost.as much as $775 for 13 pounds.

A big group of pilgrims leave together this morning. Some are talking and laughing, some are singing and some hold back, in order to start the day quietly. 

We notice the pilgrim from Colorado, who we started out with, is becoming more talkative, as each day passes. He shares that he works alone as a grounds keeper, hasn’t been to Europe in 25 years, and opens up about his solitary liife.

It’s so unusual to see a child on the Camino that we can’t help but congratulate the 14-year old boy that’s walking with his parents. This sweet family from New Zealand also seem to be coming out of their shells.

And we thought we had a nice flat day ahead of us!

Little do we know that the flat path will soon give way to a series of never ending inclines and descents, the loose rock making us pay attention to every step. Is that a mirage?! In the middle of nowhere, a woman has set up chairs and a display of fruits, snacks, and drinks, only asking for a donation in return. Sharing a Coke and the reprieve of a walk through a town finally gets us to our destination.

Oct. 20: Astorga- 20 miles

Astorga welcomed us to their plaza with sunny weather

A lovely quiet meal at El Pasaje

Astorga is a lively city that packs shops, bars, restaurants, and historical buildings all within its medieval walls. The Imprenta Musical Alojamiento has a great check-in system, explained via cell phone in your choice of languages and the room is nice. We’re too tired and hungry to take the time to lounge on our floor’s outdoor sitting area, so we hurry and shower and head to the plaza. We find a restaurant on the second floor, so we can see the merrymaking going on, on the plaza, but cannot hear it.

Oct. 21: Rabanal del Camino- 15 miles
We’re heading up to the mountains and the area known for its unpredictable weather. It’s a long day and pilgrims share an occasional “Hola” (Hi!) and keep their focus on the trail. As we enter the town of El Gonzo, I remember how Camino author, Brierley, rightly describes it as “a hauntingly crumbling village.” It’s only saving grace is the famous cowboy bar, known for not allowing any photos (though no one knows why).

Rabanal del Camino continues its centuries old tradition of caring for pilgrims before they take the steep path up Monte Irago. An order of Bavarian monks have taken up residence in the restored church and the sound of Gregorian chants continues. We stop in at the church and are surprised to find a Korean woman standing alone near the altar, playing her flute. The sound bouncing off the centuries old walls is mesmerizing. We don’t want to interrupt her, so we get her attention and hold our hand to our hearts and quietly leave.

La Posada de Gaspar hasn’t changed a bit

While the town is nothing to write home about, we remember staying at the Posada de Gaspar in 2016, with its wooden beams and stone walls. Once again, we shower and scurry to, hopefully, find a restaurant open before 8 p.m.; not easy in Spain! 

What is a Spaniards’ dining schedule? 
– Breakfast: café con leche/té and a sweet roll or “tostada” (crusty bread) with either butter/jam, tomato, or jamón
– Late morning: another café/té and maybe a sweet roll?
– Lunch: large meal, usually in courses with wine/beer
– Early evening: café/té/wine/beer and some sweets or tapas
– Dinner: restaurants open again at 8-8:30 p.m. 

We try to start the day with some protein and seek out a restaurant that serves eggs and ham. We usually don’t eat much bread, but sometimes when that’s what all you’re served, you eat it! For lunch, we enjoy our favorite: a big bowl of “Caldo Gallego.”

What is a “Caldo Gallego”?
“Caldo Gallego” or Galician broth is a soup made with white beans, turnip greens and potatoes. The broth is flavored either with a type of salt pork called unto, “chorizo” (Spanish sausage), or smoked ham. 

If we happen to arrive in a town early enough, we take advantage of the late lunch, the three course pilgrim’s meal. Usually that doesn’t happen, so we try to find someplace that opens before 8 p.m., which is starting to get close to our bed time! 

Oh, and one more thing about food: it’s amazing that the price listed is the price you pay- no tax and no tip! Servers are paid a higher wage and no tips are expected.

Oct. 22- Molinaseca- 18 miles
Today we head up to the highest point of our journey, remembering to be cautious on the descents as well. It’s a grueling day, but the views are spectacular.

So peaceful in the mountains

We pass the abandoned town of Manjarin, which actually now has a population of one! Tomás, a Spaniard with a devotion to pilgrims, has provided 36 mattresses, an outside toilet, some hot water, and a simple meal for a donation. 

The medieval bridge

A medieval bridge leads you into the town of Molinaseca, once the home of the Queen of Castilla and León. I sit in a bench and watch a woman walk down the middle of the street in this charming stone village. She’s carrying a bouquet of just picked flowers and by the way she’s dressed, it could be any year back in time. Just then, a car horn honks and I’m brought back to reality.

The hills embrace the town of Molinaseca

Just as lovely as it was in 2018, we vote the Hotel el Palacio one of the best hotels on the Camino, with its stone exterior, glass enclosed balcony, wooden floors, shutters and built in wardrobe.

There seems to be only two restaurants in town and we are lucky to get a table at one. A group of ten pilgrims asks if we could move our table next to their two tables, so they can all sit together and we enjoy visiting with them while we have our dessert.

Oct. 14 – 18 : Moratinos to León

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Seems like we’ll  never arrive in Moratinos!

Oct. 14: Moratinos- 20 miles
It’s a quiet morning. As pilgrims head out, many are starting their day in thought. It’s another cool day and besides focusing on the rocky, dirt path, there’s not much scenery to embrace; just miles of farmland. I become fascinated with the ant hills along the way. Some almost look like castles and each one has a hole in the center. I wonder what a mini camera would show?
This helps me pass the time and also clean out the cobwebs in the corners of my brain at the same time!

We’re startled to see a food truck ahead of us- in the middle of nowhere! Our breakfast was light, so we stop and have a “tostado con tomato,” a hunk of crunchy bread, but this time instead of chopped tomato, the bread is sprinkled with olive oil and loaded with slices of fresh tomato- delicious! We compliment the young entrepreneurial couple and they tell us they do quite well, stationing themselves along the Camino, and that they also live in the back of their camper.

With a devotion to pilgrim hospitality, Italians Bruno and Ana built Albergue San Bruno. It’s a large house, unconventional in design, with a couple of levels that house both dorms with beds and private rooms. With various doors and halls, I can only figure out how to get to our room and back downstairs. We hurry and shower, so we can relax out in their garden.

All the hungry pilgrims are hovering around the door, waiting for the communal dinner to start at 7 p.m. We share a table with two sisters from the Netherlands, a man from France and a couple from Kansas. Bruno and Ana don chef’s hats and formally welcome us all. They tell us they will close for the season November 1 and return to Italy, but not to rest, to work! Over wine, salad, pasta carbonara and cake, we are entertained by the Frenchman, who tells us after his first Camino, he quit his corporate job two weeks after he arrived home and changed his career path.

Oct. 15: El Burgo Ranero – 18 miles
It’s not raining yet, but we can feel it coming. The fact that we’re heading to a new Albergue for lunch takes our minds off walking the “Soulless Senda” for awhile. 

The sun disappears quickly, the wind picks up, the sky darkens and and we stop and jump into our raincoats, but the rain only lasts for a few minutes. We’ve been through this before with the weather teasing us, so we decide to just leave our raincoats on.

Tonight we’re staying in a gas station! I know what you’re thinking, but the Hotel Castillo de Burgo is actually behind the gas station. We are warmly greeted and the room is quite nice, modern and clean. The restaurant is open all evening, the dining room has white tablecloths, and the staff seems happy to be working there. What more could you ask for?!

Downtown Mansilla

 

A surprise around every corner in Mansillas

Oct. 16 – Mansilla de los Mulas – 13 miles
There’s not much in the way of scenery today, so it’s a jgood time to reflect. In his Camino guidebook, Brierley notes “Classified as the longest extant stretch of Roman road left in Spain today, we follow in the footsteps of Emperor Augustus himself.” Out of the silence, the sound of our shoes crushing the gravel and the click of our hiking poles, as they tap the ground, creates an almost Zen-like rhythm that carrys us the rest of the way.

Our room at Pensión de Blanca (plain and clean) has three beds, so we have plenty of room to spread out. The owner pulls out a map and with a magic marker, gives us directions to everything in town, but tonight we already know where we’re dining. 

It’s not very often that Brierley gives a restaurant review, so when he recommends La Curiosa, we head there early and have a glass of wine to secure a spot. The first floor is almost museum-like, with collections of everything from old typewriters, books, tin cans and advertisements arranged just so on shelves. Upstairs, we are pleasantly surprised by the large windows and white tablecloths. We chat with women from Madrid, Chicago, and Arizona, all walking alone, and when the hosts asks if we would like to sit together, we all say “ Why not?”

While enjoying the delicious smoked trout salad, veal with blue cheese and local goat cheese drizzled with local honey, we are on edge, listening to the Chicago woman’s story of how she was scammed by a white collar squatter. Since the squatter was already living in the same New York City building, our friend assumed the usual background checks, etc. were unnecessary. Two years later, with legal assistance, she was finally able to get her tenant evicted, but had only collected $2500 from her- one months rent!

So happy to be in León!


The cathedral sparkles at night

 

Our favorite white wine is the Galician Albariño

Oct. 17 & 18: León – 13 miles
We’re happy it’s cool and not raining. We’re so anxious to get to León, one of our favorite cities, we don’t even mind that we’re walking parallel to the busy highway most of the day.

León has been a pilgrim stop since the 10th century. Today, with a population of almost 450,000, the bustling city has a vibrant, joyful feel. I’m not sure when people go to work or children go to school, because it seems that the revelry continues all day and all night in the Plaza Mayor and down every narrow side street in the walled city. It’s the perfect place for a rest day.

Though we don’t seem to have the constitution of the locals, who don’t mind sitting outside in cold weather, we very quickly realize the custom of ordering one drink, which is served with a complimentary tapas, and then moving on another bar until you’ve had your dinner.

We are served a small plate full of warm, just fried calamari – delicious! Across the bar, I notice a couple chatting. As the man, picks up the calamari, it seems to be a long, never ending piece. I make eye contact with the woman and we laugh, she making the gesture of wrapping it around her neck and me, holding my hands up, like a lasso. It’s one of those quick lovely moments. All this for 6e for two glasses of wine and tapas!

View from our room’s patio

Called “ the house of light” because of its famed stained glass windows, the Santa María de León Cathedral is now a UNESCO World Heritage sight. Our hotel, Hostal Albany Ancha, is in a great location, not too far from the church. The room has a brick wall, interesting metal light fixtures, a glass enclosed patio, but no closet! In Spain, you learn quickly- “Es lo que es” (it is what it is)!

Oct. 8 – 13: Burgos to Carrión de los Condes

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Our favorite building in Burgos

Please note:
– e = euro. The dollar and the euro are currently almost equal in value.
– Mr. Wiz = my husband, Michael, who is well versed on almost every subject and seems to know the answer to almost every question.

The French Route
Oct. 8: Madrid to Burgos
The Renfe high speed train station and plaza are jam packed. In typical Spanish fashion, people are talking, laughing, drinking, and eating. After our long travels, we opt for a quiet dinner at the nearby Charmartín Hotel dining room, We enjoy two glasses of wine each, along with a delicious three course dinner for 24 euros each. In Texas, $24 would barely cover two glasses of wine.

The entry to Hotel Rice Palacio Balsones

Hotel Rice Palacio de los Blasones, located in Old Town Burgos, a perfect location, is charming. Our room’s beamed ceilings, stone wall, and small balcony balance well with the contemporary furnishings.

Oct. 9: Burgos
Burgos still exhibits signs of its medieval splendor. The esplanade with its topiaries and sculptures, is the place where families and friends still dress up, meet (originally in horse and carriages, now strolling), and stop for a drink or a cafe con leche (espresso and steamed milk).

The capital of Leon and Castile for five centuries, its 12 entry gates and winding cobblestone streets give the city old world charm, but it’s the cathedral that is its highlight.

Cathedral de Santa Maria de Burgos

Construction on the Catedral de Santa Maria de Burgos began in 1221 and ended in 1567, bringing together famous architects and artists of the day to perfect the Gothic style of this UNESCO World Heritage Site.

What is a UNESCO World Heritage site?
In 1972, the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) adopted a treaty for “the identification, protection, and preservation of natural heritage around the world.” This agreement is unique in that 195 countries have pledged to secure the world’s most significant natural and cultural heritage from threats such as natural disasters, mass tourism, wars, and construction.

Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, known as El Cid, is buried in the cathedral. The 11th century nobleman and military leader was born near Burgos and is Spain’s most celebrated national folk hero.

We arrive on the tail end of a hurricane. We haven’t started walking yet, so the heavy winds and occasional drizzle doesn’t affect us, but we later hear stories of some near accidents from walking and cycling pilgrims who were unaware of the storm’s magnitude.

Sunflowers and “suede” landscape

Oct. 10: Hornillos del Camino- 12 miles
“Dale!” (Let’s do it!) It’s cloudy and cool; perfect for walking. The sunflower fields go on forever, with the sunflowers proudly standing straight up, not realizing that their golden flowers have given way to dead, black ones. The fields are a patchwork of fall colors, all mowed down for the season into what looks like suede. 

My necklace for the rest of the trip

We stop at a church to get a “sello,” a stamp on our pilgrim passport, which will be a lovely souvenir of places visited. The long line of pilgrims doesn’t deter the enthusiasm of the two nuns greeting each of us. When it’s my turn, the nun not only presents me with a medal to wear, she also blesses me and clasps my hand. I feel overwhelmed with emotion and vow to wear the necklace every day.

Flowers cheer up the building

Hornillos del Camino is a dilapidated town. With a population of 70, the decrepit buildings are a hodgepodge of different building materials. As with all of these old towns, they were once bustling commerce centers along the Camino and seem to come alive again with the arrival of pilgrims. They proudly continue their tradition of serving pilgrims and are grateful for the economy they bring.

La Casa del Abuelo is plain and old, but it’s clean and welcoming. Their sheets billow in the wind on the clothesline, interspersed with pilgrims’ clothes. The courtyard, with its unmatched tables and chairs, takes on an upbeat vibe, as pilgrims talk and laugh. A pilgrim from Idaho, with seven children and 14 grandchildren, regales us with his adventures of shooting feral hogs in Texas for $50 each and being welcomed into a motorcycle gang he had no interest in joining.

The sign on the bar says it’s closed for an hour and I assume the señora/owner is taking a rest. I happen to glance through the window and watch her lovingly feeding her mother and imagine how very full her days must be. When we leave, I tell her how special she is to care for family and for us and we hug.

A yellow arrow points the way to Castrojerez

Oct. 11: Castrojerez- 13 miles
We’ve just enjoyed our first, second breakfast; a Camino tradition. It’s a cool, quiet morning and the rocky trail keeps us focused on our footsteps. We stop at the Ruinas del Convento de San Antón, a monastery from the 14th century, which devoted itself to caring for pilgrims.

Castrojerez’s Main Street

With a population of 500, this sleepy town mirrors Hornillos. There’s not much to discover on our walk around town and we joke with a couple from Northern Ireland, asking each other if there’s something we’ve missed. The senior couple both live on the Irish Sea ( she swims in the see each morning!) and they met by chance on the beach only a year ago. We all agree, if we lived closer, we would be fast friends.

El Manzano, our alburgue, is plain and clean. We are glad for the savvy companies that deliver ready made pizzas, pastas, and paellas to these establishments, leaving their customers with just the task of heating them up and serving them hot and fresh to us. Our dinner entertainment is hearing the story of a family cycling the Camino with a 10 year old ( who is also biking) and his mother pulling an infant carrier. When they finish the Camino, they plan to camp in Morocco for six months.

The church in Castrojerez sparkled as we left in the early morning

All the way up, then all the way down!

Oct. 12: Fromista- 16 miles
We immediately start the day with a strenuous long, steep climb and an even steeper descent. Both seem never ending, but we are entertained by stories from couples that moved from St. Louis to the Virgin Islands and from Washington D.C to Sitka, Alaska. We make it a point to stop every two hours, take off our packs and hydrate, to help us keep going.

With a declining population of 840, Fromista also mirrors Hornillos, except for its Inglesia de San Martín, which is said to be the finest example of Romanesque architecture in Spain!

Spanish “bubblegum” body wash and shampoo!


Ready for a shower, we can’t seem to find any soap in our room at the Hotel Rural San Pedro, another plain and clean establishment. It seems the soap dispenser is in the shower and it makes us laugh. At home, we are so fussy about what shampoo and soap we use, but here the neon hot pink soap is just fine with us.

It’s a holiday, there are limited restaurant choices and pilgrims are hungry. Many of us line up outside a place that opens at 6 p.m. (and not the usual 8 p.m.), and are disappointed to find out a group of Korean travelers have reserved the entire restaurant. Thank goodness for the small bar that serves that same prepared food we enjoyed the day before.

San Zoilo: view from our room


San Zoila cloisters

Oct. 13: Carrión de los Condes- 12 miles
Famous Camino guidebook author, John Brierley, calls this part of the walk the “soulless senda” or path. Whether it’s the two, narrow, side by side paths that run alongside nondescript fields or the highway, this becomes the perfect time for reflection and introspection.

This time, we found the staff aloof and preoccupied and later were disappointed to find out other pilgrims staying there were never invited to visit their lovely church, museum, and cloisters, nor were they told about the discounted dinner menu for guests of the hotel, which we asked about and did receive.

Mr. Wiz has taken it upon himself to be in charge of doing our laundry. The laundromat is busy and chaotic, with pilgrims from all parts of the world waiting their turn. We laugh with a woman from Canada who’s next and says she’s not sure if she should place her laundry bag in front of the machine or just sit in front of it. Mr. Wiz explains the process to anyone that looks confused and I ask him if he’s running for mayor or just wants a job running the place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mud, Sweat, and Tears: Why the Camino Keeps Luring Us Back

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When family and friends heard we were heading back to the Camino, their first question was “Why?!” They wondered what it was about walking miles, on all kinds of terrain, in all types of weather, and for days on end that made it alluring.

The good terrain

The not-so-good terrain

What is the Camino?

In the ninth century, a local bishop ordered a church to be built to house the remains of St. James, when they were discovered in the northwestern Spanish town of Galicia. Over time, the church grew into the grand cathedral of today, and the city became known as Santiago de Compostela – “St. James under a field of stars.”

Throughout the Middle Ages, people started their pilgrimages from their homes, which created the many routes still used today. Yellow arrows mark the routes to help pilgrims navigate. Along the way, churches, restaurants, and places to stay, stamp a pilgrim’s passport to prove they have walked the minimum 100 kilometers/62 miles required to receive the coveted certificate, or “Compostela,” from the pilgrim office in Santiago.

There are many reasons why people choose to walk the Camino. It evokes a physical, mental, spiritual, and mystical experience unlike any other.

You never know where you’ll find a yellow arrow

It’s Your Camino

Though walking is the most popular way to travel the Camino, some ride a bicycle or travel on horseback. You can travel as much or as little as you would like each day. If you tire, buses and taxis are available, and there are companies offering daily backpack transport.

You can choose to stay in a “donativo” – a mat on a church floor for a donation, a five-star hotel, and anywhere in between, such as an “albergue” – a pilgrim hostel or a “casa rural” – a guesthouse. You can make a reservation ahead of time or see where the wind takes you when you arrive in a town. To keep you energized, the three-course pilgrim meals are delicious and offered at a bargain.

Hotel Antsotegi in Etxebarria was an old iron mill turned hotel

The Olé of Spain

There’s an exuberance and an elegance to life in the Spanish cities. Working to live, rather than living to work, allows time for family and friends. Music and culture are relished, every meal is savored, and life is lived at a slower pace.

Spaniards still enjoy the tradition of the paseo. They dress up for their stroll through a town’s main street or plaza to greet family and friends. No doubt there will be stops along the way for a café con leche y dulce – espresso coffee with hot milk and a sweet – or vino y tapas – wine and appetizers.

The small towns have a charm of their own. As if traveling back in time, a car driving through the street is almost startling. At times, you may be walking through a herd of sheep or visiting a small church, and the simplicity of the moment leads you to ponder your own life.

Estella, Spain was founded in 1090

Pilgrim Power

“Buen Camino!” Each day, pilgrims wish each other a good walk as they pass each other by.

We are all heading to the same place – the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela – which creates instant camaraderie. There seems to be no interest in who you are at home. Here, everyone is equal.

Encountering pilgrims from all over the world, you begin to realize there are very few differences between you. Very quickly, they are no longer strangers. Your interaction might be days/weeks together or just a few words in passing. Pilgrim families are created, and members may keep in touch for a lifetime. Sometimes just a quick exchange can become crucial to helping you think through an issue in your life.

You feel a positive energy around you each day. The genuine hospitality encountered by people from all walks of life throughout Spain seems to rub off on the pilgrims, who, in turn, are there for their fellow travelers. Whether it’s with a hug, a band-aid, directions, or just a listening ear, there’s a loving spirit that makes you wonder why people aren’t always like this.

Me, Myself and I

You feel an ongoing gratitude for the simplicity of each day, its daily rhythm, and the chance to reboot, as you discover the Spanish culture in slow motion. It’s easier to listen to yourself when it’s quiet and the peaceful solitude of walking alone is a nice balance.

The freedom from everyday obligations and the luxury of being unplugged from the stimuli of our daily lives gives you more time to focus on the world around you. Traveling with only the belongings that fit in your backpack makes you feel lighter. You sometimes feel as if you were turned inside out, with your senses heightened and your mind clear and open.

The mud and sweat are understandable parts of the walk. As your journey ends and you enter the plaza of the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, you wonder if your tears are because you conquered the goals of this demanding trip or because your journey has come to an end.

This sign shows the distance from Georgetown, Texas to Santiago de Compostela, Spain

“Live for the moments you can’t put into words.”
“The end is just the beginning”
Authors Unknown

For more information on the Camino:
Watch the movie that resurrected the Camino in the United States in 2010. “The Way” starred Martin Sheen and was written, directed, and produced by his son, Emilio Estevez.

Listen to Dan Mullins’ podcast “My Camino the Podcast” which showcases Camino stories from pilgrims from over the world.

Go to the American Pilgrims on the Camino website which shares information, supports American pilgrims, and subsidizes Camino-related projects with grant money from its dues.

Author’s Note:
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Camp Lucy: Luxury + Nature

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There are some occasions when dining out doesn’t seem like enough. Our 40th wedding anniversary celebration was one of those times and we decided it was the perfect opportunity for a getaway.

Dripping Springs prides itself on offering wedding venues of all kinds

Wanting to try someplace new, after much research, I came upon a resort called Camp Lucy. It is fitting it should be in Dripping Springs, Texas, designated the Wedding Capital of Texas by the Texas House of Representatives in 2015. Located in the Texas Hill Country, known for its picturesque landscapes, the town boasts 35 wedding venues.

Camp Lucy History
Whit Hanks promised himself he would keep the 282 acres he had inherited, away from the hands of developers. With lovely memories of times spent there during the summers, the original home still stood on the grounds.

A former antique dealer turned real estate developer, Whit was on an antique excursion in Vietnam when he came upon the frames of a church and a town hall. Struck by their beauty, intricacy, and workmanship, he purchased them on a whim. Taken apart carefully, each piece was coded and wrapped individually before being shipped.

Not sure what their final purpose would be, he first had the church reconstructed on the property and named it Ian’s Chapel, after his son who had died. Back in 2010, when Whit hosted the first wedding at Ian’s Chapel, there were only three wedding venues in Dripping Springs. Whit jokingly says Kim, a local event planner, started bringing him so much business that it was in his best interest to marry her.

His mother, Lucy, was the inspiration for the resort’s name. With combined creative vision and attention to every detail, Whit and Kim added a pool and lodging. The town building took three months to rebuild into the restaurant, Tillie’s, named after Whit’s grandmother, Attila Hancock. Attila was a prominent Austinite, whose husband, Lewis, served as mayor from 1895 to 1897. Attila and Lewis founded the Austin Country Club, whose golf course is the oldest continuously operated golf course in Texas.

Tillie’s
Driving up the long driveway, we were welcomed by the stone pillars and the Camp Lucy sign. The check-in area held the gift shop and the entrance to Tillie’s. The 400-year-old turquoise doors from India were slightly open, as a tease of what was to come. Pushing open the heavy doors, we were awestruck by the sheer beauty and unexpected uniqueness of the space.

The intricately carved wood frame encircled the space. The French statues of saints are set in individual alcoves from Whit’s private collection. The complex geometric tile flooring was designed for the space. No wonder Tillie’s was voted the most beautiful restaurant in Texas by People magazine and Open Table in their listing of The 50 Most Beautiful Restaurants in America.

We arrived in time for Sunday brunch and agreed, in fairness to our palates, that all meals should be shared. The smoked brisket hash had just the right combination of perfectly prepared brisket combined with potato, onion, peppers, and avocado crema and was topped with sunny-side-up eggs. The dark yellow egg yolks gave a hint that their chickens had recently laid them. The avocado toast was the perfect complement of (freshly baked?) sourdough bread piled high with avocado, cilantro, pickled vegetables, and cotija cheese. Sorbet with fresh berries was just one of the complimentary, anniversary, treats we were surprised with during our visit.

Of course, we dressed for dinner and made a toast with our complimentary glass of Champagne. Watching the beautiful presentations of plates pass by us, we finally decided on a starter of crisp baby romaine, which was much more complex than its name. The piparras peppers, from Spain’s Basque region, were mild and sweet, the pistachios were smokey and the olives, tomatoes, and herbs atop an avocado green goddess dressing were the perfect savory compliment. It was difficult to leave even a dot of the delicious shellfish cream sauce that covered the agnolotti pasta stuffed with potato and shrimp or the spinach coulis that was drizzled over the halibut.

We wondered if the food was as – close your eyes as you savor every bite – delicious, or if the atmosphere lent itself to us believing so. As we devoured what we agreed was, the best egg sandwich we’d ever eaten, the next morning we decided we were correct on both counts.

Lodging
From the wooden key cards to the room’s leather trash cans, the selection of Vietnamese coffees, the electric kettle with various temperature controls, the robes awaiting our arrival in the closet, and the toilet tissue folded into a point, Whit and Kim’s special touches lovingly graced our room. Our Treetop Room had a private balcony that looked out to a lovely hill country view and made it hard to leave. The room’s décor gave us a peak into the couple’s private antique collection.

Our Visit
The resort offers a variety of guest experiences, some included and some for a fee. We opted for the complimentary history tour and alpaca feeding, two great ways to get our bearings. The pool area was a lovely sanctuary, and we swam, slept, and read our afternoons away.

I took a private yoga class, which was held outside on a beautiful morning. My yoga teacher, Stephanie, introduced me to mudras, a Sanskrit word meaning gestures. Mudras are hand and finger gestures that are believed to influence energy flow in the body and mind.

As we walked around the property, a surprise awaited us at every turn: an antique bird cage, a sculpture made more beautiful with its covering of moss, a vineyard producing Camp Lucy wines, an outdoor pavilion, and handmade clay tiles, both from Vietnam. We learned that the stonework, which looked ancient, was installed by master stonemason Dario Camacho. His unique style became so popular customers began referring to it as “Dario style.”

The purchase of an antique Amish barn, brought from Ohio and, once again, painstakingly rebuilt, piece by piece, showcased the simplistic beauty of the wood and its design and is now known as the Great Hall. Measures were taken to make sure the small cross etched into the wood on the outside of the barn was on display. It was a symbol, used by the Underground Railroad, as a secret message denoting a haven for escaped slaves.

The gnarled trees that had grown up and across the dirt path to Sacred Oaks gave this outdoor wedding venue a mystical feel. As the sun dappled through the trees, we walked up to the arch and in front of the empty chairs, set up in rows, had an impromptu vow renewal ceremony. Walking back, the Camp Lucy logo, a heart-shaped emblem and a Vietnamese symbol for love and family, kept appearing on tiles and stones. When we returned to our room, complimentary gold-covered chocolate strawberries awaited our arrival. Another perfect day at Camp Lucy.

Author’s Note:
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Wake Up and Make Up: Airbrushing Uncovered

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Is that really me? Getting my makeup airbrushed on for my son’s wedding was such a treat! Of course, a makeup professional with all the proper high-end equipment makes it look so easy. As the compressor sprayed a cool mist over my face, I couldn’t believe the finished look did not feel or appear heavy. Best of all, it did a great job of hiding any facial flaws!

The only real difference between airbrush makeup and other foundation is the way in which it is applied. Joette Balsamo, a makeup artist in New York City, shared some guidelines about airbrushing:

✔️Radiant finishes may be better
Airbrush foundation formulas are typically drier than traditional ones, as they must be pushed through the compressor. (The more hydrating the foundation, the more likely it will get stuck in the apparatus.) For this reason, Balsamo recommends choosing “luminous” airbrush foundation finishes, which are less likely to accentuate dryness and wrinkles.

✔️ Go for a full kit
Airbrush makeup compressors and foundations are sometimes sold separately, but pros say the best foundation for airbrush makeup is the one that comes with the set. “I think it’s always better to go with the foundation that comes with the technology because they’ve been created to function together,” Joette advises, so there’s less likelihood of error in use.

✔️ Finish with a face mist
Whichever airbrush makeup you choose, top off your look with a spritz of facial mist. “To make the look more supple, spray a hydrating rosewater or glycerin mist all over to bring some moisture into the makeup, so it looks more like skin,” she advises.

To Airbrush or Not to Airbrush?
Since the early 1900s, Good Housekeeping has prided itself on reviewing and reporting on the best products in various categories. Still today, companies vie for the coveted Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Their listing of The Ten Best Airbrush Makeup Products for Flawless Skin seemed like the best place to start.

Since most of their products listed were versions of either the air spraying or the aerosol systems, I decided to narrow my focus and evaluate their top two choices, in order to make a final product decision:

#1 Best overall airbrush makeup: Art of Air Professional Airbrush Cosmetic Makeup System-
$90 (Amazon)
Includes: an airbrush, a compressor system, six different foundations, makeup for contouring and a cleanser for makeup removal.

Comments:
* The compressor system is bulky to travel with
* There is a definite learning curve to this product.
* You need to practice with water first to get the feel of the different settings.
* There is a lot of trial and error, as you work to find just the right foundation color
combination, using the six colors provided.
* Working in constant motion at the same speed in a circular motion is required, making
sure not to over or under spray.
* Only using airbrush makeup foundation increases your investment.
* The tip of the airbrush gun is very fragile and will not work if bent.
* It’s very important to keep the entire system clean. This involves taking it all apart,
   which most reviews said was complicated.

Overview:
The many pages of directions for the makeup system made me realize it was probably better to have my makeup air sprayed professionally, rather than try to do it to myself at home. Honestly, it was so intimidating that I packaged it right back up and returned it to Amazon, without even trying it.

#2 Best value airbrush makeup: Jerome Alexander Magic Minerals Airbrush-
$19.99 (Amazon)
Includes: airbrush foundation spray, kabuki brush.
With this aerosol version, you just spray the foundation on the brush and apply.

Comments:
* Very easy to apply.
* Application seemed to give the flawless look I was after.
* The only thing you need to keep clean is the brush.
* The price was right!

Overview:
The winner!
I think there is something to be said for an aerosol application versus applying foundation with a sponge. I noticed the propellant created a mist on the brush, giving my skin a more polished, finished look, different from regularly applied foundation.

The best price for the foundation spray and brush I found was $19.99 on Amazon. The Jerome Alexander website listed the same product for $24 with a 15% first time discount, but shipping was $8.95 – or free if your order totaled $49.

Before placing your order on Amazon, it’s very important to choose your foundation color.The easiest way to do this is to utilize the tools provided on the Jerome Alexander website :
* Go to “Find your shade” – top right
* Click on the model that best represents your coloring.
* This brings you down to the color of your foundation, which will also help you make your
final decision.
* I choose light medium.

For over 7000 years, women have used different forms of makeup- for spiritual, ritual, status, for their healing powers and, of course, for beauty.

“Beauty is power, and makeup is something that really enhances that; it’s a woman’s secret.”
Charlotte Tilbury, makeup artist, Prada

“Makeup is not a mask that covers up your beauty – it’s a weapon that helps you express who you are from the inside.”
Michelle Phan, beauty You Tuber and founder, EM Cosmetics

Author’s Note:
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Image by VintageSnipsAndClips from Pixabay.

Perils of a Perfectionist

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One quick glance around each room and I can size up what needs to be done. The pictures on the wall are a bit crooked and the pillows are not aligned correctly on the sofa in the living room. The chairs around the dining table are not pushed in at the same depth. In the kitchen, the spices are not in alphabetical order and the candles are not standing straight up in their holders. Just when I roll my sleeves up, intending to get to work, my friend takes me over to the side, puts her hands on my shoulders and reminds me that we are on a Parade of Homes model home tour. 

Sometimes it’s great to have a keen eye for detail and a determination to always strive for excellence and sometimes it’s a pain in my (hopefully physically fit?) posterior. Luckily for me, I was blessed with a combination of both my parents’ personality traits. My dad’s obsessive, work ethic and drive for success, along with my mom’s easygoing, go with the flow attitude, has kept me from falling off the “obsessive, compulsive cliff.”

Early on in life, I realized that I would need to take control of my tendencies. Riding that bucking bronco of flawlessness, I had to learn to lasso that energy into a healthy focus. Being aware of who I am and actually cultivating a relationship with myself made the difference. It gave me a comfort level that the rest of the world did not see. How could I possibly begin to exude confidence if I didn’t like myself? In time, I learned that the secret connection between me and my psyche was actually a simple process: just stop, look and listen:

  • Stop: I take a couple of minutes each day to close my eyes and imagine how I want my life to be.
  • Look: I try to objectively observe how I am progressing and what I might need to tweak. 
  • Listen: When alone, I compliment myself out loud and let those few short sentences spur me on. 

My relationship with myself is a humorous one. Together, we chuckle at my ability to detail the heck out of even the smallest task. We giggle at the way I prompt myself to hum a tune as a reminder not to review a past mistake over and over again. We chortle at my micromanaging tendencies, practiced under the guise of providing useful information to anyone at any time, whether they want it or not. And we have a good laugh over whether I can finish reading an article before getting up to fix something out of place on the other side of the room. 

I realized that in order to move ahead and see the big picture, little by little, I had to let go of the minutiae of everyday life. This has given me a bit of a carefree feeling so that I now only document 41 percent of my life on Excel spreadsheets (down from 92 percent) and just last week, walked past two crooked welcome mats, outside of neighbor’s homes, without the need to straighten them.  

We are all a work in progress. I now understand that I need to embrace the odd duck in me and realize that I cannot totally change who I am at this point in my life, but I can work with myself and not against myself to create the best imperfect perfect person that I can be.

Frame Your Own Pictures

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She was so delighted with the print she had purchased. It reminded my mom of a favorite vacation destination. She would prop it up against the walls all-around her home, looking for just the right spot.

I was the one that decided it needed a permanent home. I devised a scheme to sneak it out of her apartment in a bag of magazines that I was picking up, and delivered it right to the frame shop, agonizing over the perfect frame and just the right mat colors that would perfectly complement the print. 

While it was a loving gesture and I was excited to present her with this surprise birthday gift, I realized later that it really was not my picture to frame; it was hers.

In a recent Ted Talk, author Anne Lamott reminded us “We can’t arrange peace or lasting improvement for the people we love most in the world. They have to find their own ways, their own answers. You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick on their hero’s journey. You have to release them. It’s disrespectful not to. Help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and goodness all over everybody.”

I am a recovering helper. For every dollar you have, I can add in my two cents in order to assist, guide, advise, suggest or lend a hand. When I like someone, I have a tendency to go overboard and when I love someone, I can drown them in the H (help) word.

It is said that helicopter parents got their name from the yuppie moms and dads that were overprotective and took an excessive interest in their child’s life. There’s a delicate balance between involvement and smothering and you have to try very hard to remember the difference. 

When our only child was younger and was starting to make his way onto the world stage, he needed us to be his attentive audience, not standing backstage delivering him his lines. Anne Lamott was right; that would have been disrespectful. You do your very best and then set them free. But, between us, a quick spray of holy water while they are walking out your door or a little mom mental telepathy never hurt anyone. 

Back then, our son and I came up with a code word. Anytime I was exhibiting an inclination toward being overzealous, he would whisper the word “Despacio” in my ear (Spanish for slowly) It was my que to slow down. This worked then and even worked recently, when I almost fell off the wagon. 

I’m sure that by now my family and friends all know that I am there for them. I will try to control my controlling tendencies (hidden under the guise of helping), but there may be times when I veer off. One Hallmark card commercial viewed at a particularly sensitive moment may trigger an outpouring of unwanted and unwarranted assistance. 

So, just in case you see me running toward you with outstretched arms, my head turned slightly to one side and that tender look in my eyes that says “I am here for you,” just return the hug and whisper “Despacio” in my ear. I’ll get the message.

Author’s Note:
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