Twice in the same week, I was verbally “assaulted” by complete strangers. I think what struck me the most was their anger and aggressive stance over. . . actually not very much of anything. 

As I finished up on a machine at my fitness center, a woman appeared in front of me, from out of nowhere, and started scolding me loudly for not wiping down the machine with the provided disinfectant wipes. I was actually about to walk over to get some fresh wipes, but rather than respond, I just walked away, feeling her stare following me as I did.

A couple of days later, I was at the grocery store, in deep concentration in the fruit aisle contemplating as to how many bananas I should buy. An older man, started walking directly toward me, pulled the bananas right out of my hand and yelled “Oh, no, you’re not going to start breaking apart the bunches!” He put them in his basket and walked away, leaving me standing there stunned.

More than once, I’ve tuned in to a favorite podcast, but instead- another one would magically start to play. It happened again. This time, it was Joel Osteen, televangelist and bestselling author and the title was “Dealing with Difficult People.” Needless to say, it received all my attention. 

Disinfectant wipes and bananas aside, I think Osteen would have been proud of my reaction. In both cases, the sun was shining out and I was having such a great day, I didn’t want the negativity of strangers to spoil it. He makes it a point to remind you to not let anyone steal your joy. 

In theory that sounds like a good rule to follow, but I wonder how flexible I would have been, had this been a situation with a family member or close friend. With that in mind, I paid attention to some of Osteen’s suggestions: 

1.Strive to take the high road. 

The phrase “Take the high road” became popular during Thomas Dewey’s 1948 presidential campaign, which explained his reaction against Harry Truman’s dirty campaign tactics. 

It’s not always easy to turn the other cheek. In researching, I found taking the high road doesn’t actually refer to forgiving someone or keeping them in the picture, it means not retaliating. That’s a big difference.

Osteen says we should all strive to be eagles. His analogy describes the difficult people in our lives as crows, always antagonizing their prey, while eagles fly higher, above all the contention, resisting the temptation to take the bait.

2.Keep your expectations realistic

According to Psychology Today, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” The term, used in many 12 step programs, helps us understand that if we expect others to act in ways that are not consistent with their own interests, they will probably resist our expectations. While letting go of expectations is difficult, think of how much disappointment we could avoid. 

Of course, there’s the other side of this theory that relates to positive thinking, the law of attraction and how you have the power to actually steer things your way. Check out my blog post “Unearthing the Paths to Positive Thinking.”

3. Success is the best revenge

Rather than waste your time and energy on reviewing an unpleasant scenario over and over again in your head and plotting on how you plan to get even, why not just redirect that power into a positive direction?

Smile down – from your eagle perch – at those you are not connecting with, channel your animosity, anger and negativity and use it to empower and motivate yourself to achieve your goals. It will last longer than the satisfaction received from revenge and be much sweeter in the long run. 

As televangelists are famous for, Osteen dramatically uses revivalist-style preaching when he asks his audience to imagine they are being anointed with the “oil of joy,” whereby nothing can stick to them and negativity just slides right off. 

I don’t know about you, but I would be the first one on line at Costco to purchase their new product: the ten-gallon plastic container size of oil of joy, complete with a handy spray bottle for quick anointings. 

Author’s Note:
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Image by Emily_WillsPhotography from Pixabay